About Joy

 I knew that the day would come eventually. I'd been prepared for it as much as one can with six months notice that cancer will probably win, that time is limited, that a good-bye is in the near future. The fight had ended on February 1st, 2018 - Joy had gone home to Jesus. Now, as I drove to her memorial service this past Tuesday night, I had a million different thoughts going through my mind...so many memories, so much love. And now I was trying to wrap my head and my heart around the fact that she won't be around anymore. Part of me still refused to believe that sad reality was true. It was almost like a piece of my childhood was gone. And all this after just having gone through Joy's son-in-law's passing from cancer last June. Life just stinks sometimes. 

 Joy had been a fixture in my life since I was 8 years old. She was the grandmother-figure that I always knew was there. Her smile could light up a room. She always had a hug ready and a word of encouragement to share - with anybody! I don't think there was any person on the planet who didn't love Joy, or whom she didn't love. Through her eyeglasses business, her involvement in the community and her church, and just by being herself, Joy never failed to touch lives. Praying with (and for) others and offering them her listening ear and caring way was her gift. And man, did she ever use it! I can remember so many times seeing her take my hand and remind me, "Remember, Katherine, that Jesus is strong in all of our circumstances!" This was on her lips until the very last time I saw her, just a few weeks before she died. She lived by that truth every day of her life. 

 Her path hadn't always been easy. Underneath her caring and believing manner was heart that knew rejection and pain. A life that had suffered much fear in her early years - fear that she had to endure and battle until her final breath, but fear that she always fought with faith..."because of Jesus," she'd say. At six years old, she watched her father get taken to prison by the authorities for six long years. Her family was not supported by the community during such a needy time, and this drove her to seek the peace of God at a very young age. She could still recall the day she sat in a tree and talked to God. Told Him that she wanted to be like Him and trust Him all the days of her life. God delivered on that request because I never knew someone who believe in prayer more or pointed you to Jesus more than Joy. And besides, she fit her name completely - she was full of joy. Whenever you would ask her how she was, she would respond, "You know, I'm too blessed to be depressed." And that's really how she felt - even in her worst times.

 It occurred to me as I went to her service the other night that maybe what I missing isn't so much her mere presence (although I'd give anything to get another hug from her or to hear her sweet voice remind me of some biblical truth) as it is what she stood for. Joy reminded me to "take joy" in all of life's troubles. She reminded me that your own troubles aren't so great that you can't help shoulder the burdens of somebody else and let them know you're there for them. She showed me how you can change so many lives by simply being present and that prayer is a real and powerful thing. She knew that true joy isn't happiness that's dependent on outward circumstances but rather, is a choice of the soul to hope in what is unseen, to be thankful and to notice blessings regardless of what is happening around you. She chose Jesus and, therefore, was granted real joy all the days of her life. And even cancer couldn't rob her of this. 

 While my heart is grieving, and I long for Heaven more so that I may be reunited with her someday, I am also finding myself inspired within my grief to love a little deeper, pray a little harder, trust a little greater, laugh a little longer...because I knew Joy. Because I know Jesus and can choose joy for myself. And honestly, that's all she'd really want for me to do now that she's gone: just to go a live life abundant and to face fear with faith in the Savior who promises to make all things beautiful in His time. 

 I miss you everyday, Miss Joy. You made my world a better place. I love you, and will see you soon.