Belonging...And Why We Need It

 I want to start off my post today by telling you a story...
Many, many years ago there was a little girl who lived with her mom and dad. At a young age, her parents separated, and she went to live with her mother. She hardly saw her dad in the years that followed - maybe a couple of times - and hardly had any contact with his side of the family. Her grandmother on her father's side still kept in touch, and she saw her aunt a couple of times, but that was pretty much it. After she grew up, she ended up living in Alaska for awhile, just hours from where her aunt lived, but things never worked out for them to see each other. She was aware that her aunt had a daughter and that this daughter was her cousin, but they never met each other. Never even so much as spoke on the phone or wrote a letter. A few years after grandma died, she ended up moving out of Alaska. But just this year, God began to move in the family - this now-grown-up woman was put back in touch with her father's side of the family thanks to urging of another relative, and she reached out to her aunt (and eventually her cousin for the first time). A relationship began to form between then - letters were exchanged and phone calls occurred relatively frequently. It was like a live edition of the TLC tv series "Long Lost Family." This woman finally was finding that love she'd always sought. She was finally feeling that she belonged. Like she was part of something. Like she mattered to somebody. And the story is continuing to unfold...
 Without further adieu, I will happily reveal that the woman in this story is my long-lost cousin. And I am part of the family of hers that lives in Alaska. (As you will notice, I have left out the names of those involved in this story in order to protect them). I have heard of her my entire life but had given up hope that I'd ever meet her or get to know her personally. But I've loved her all my life even though I'd never met her. I always wanted her to feel like she belonged in my life and heart. 
 I tell you all this to give you a peak into the fact that my family isn't perfect. I still have a relative that I have not spoken to in years because of the tension they created in the family. I'm just now getting to know this cousin who has been out of my life entirely. I have relatives whose marriages didn't work out, relatives who have struggled financially all their lives to make ends meet, relatives who have had difficulty having children. My world isn't ideal. But neither is anyone else's. And this brings me to the fact that we are all on a quest in our hearts to belong. 
 We all want to feel like we are part of something. We are born with a desire to fit in, to feel like we are loved and accepted for who we are (even with all our flaws), to feel as if we matter to someone in this big world. Over the past few months, this recent development in my family's life has gotten me to thinking about the idea of belonging. That from the point of creation and the beginning of human history, human beings have been seeking a place of relevance and meaning. As a Christian, I realize that most of the time we humans have searched for that meaning in all the wrong places, but it does reveal that we have this innate sense of desire to be part of something more than just ourselves.  I've longed to give others this place of belonging in my life as a friend, to show them the love that I receive on a daily basis from my Jesus...because I've had my share of times when I failed to notice what I really was a part of in the family of God. I've felt alone when I should've seen that I was really alone after all. God, forgive me for my failure to see such truth! And I've since spent much time in trying my best to create a safe place for others to deposit their hurts, for wounds to be healed, for love to take place. For belonging to happen. Because this is the greatest need of our world today.  
 If you think about it, most of the tragedies that happen - shootings, wars, wars of words, family estrangement, divorce, abuse - it all comes back to a failure in love. Either a failure to love properly, or a failure to accept and feel loved properly. This is where we Christians can provide an answer. An answer found in the unconditional and radical love of the Savior whose birth and subsequent deliverance to us we are celebrating this time of year. 
 It's Christmas. And we are each celebrating in our own way. But this year, I'm celebrating in a different spirit than in times past. I have gained something I'd thought I'd never find. I have a cousin! And I can't get over how much I love this person I've never met before! I can't believe just how much my heart overflows with care for somebody that's only been a name to me my entire life. The upcoming year is filled with possibility, and I am excited to see where God continues to take this story. I feel redemption happening. That this story that began with such hardship just might be turned into good. That healing can take place. That love can have the final word. And just maybe, my cousin may meet Jesus in the process. 
 I watch the feel-good stories of the Hallmark movies: families coming together, all things bright, merry, and happy endings. And somehow I feel that love has touched this family of mine in a special way this year. I never would've guessed that this Christmas my heart could be so full. But it is. Because God never gives up on the stories we often wrongly write off as being "too far gone." God is still the business of going to great lengths to mend broken things...even a broken heart. And, in so doing, He continues His mission of calling the orphaned ones who are told they don't belong and giving them a family they discover they've always wanted. 

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