One of the things I made it my aim to do on this blog when I started it last year was to be honest. In a day and age when many people find countless ways to mask their true selves, to hide their struggles, to mask their pain, heart-to-heart vulnerability is hard to come by. I find that I long for it really. I yearn for those times when somebody is real and says, "I'm not perfect. I have my troubles too." Even more, I treasure those stories when the person then adds that this is proof of their need for Him. When I write, this is what I hope is conveyed: that I identify with my fellow human beings in their struggles and that I also point them to the One who is Himself the answer in the midst of such trials.
Today is an honesty moment: it's been a rough couple of weeks for me. I had a number of things on my to-do list that I had planned on taking care of - then the flu hit. And it hit with a vengeance. Through the sneezing, coughing, downright nasty moments, I have felt that list looming large. I must get well NOW! I have so much to do!! What will happen with all these responsibilities if I don't get healthy and do them soon?! Oh the pressing, the driving! Oh the need to be always in the fast lane! These days, we feel like even taking a little time to get well - in soul or body - is almost impossible! We think we can't give ourselves permission to stop and to do the one thing necessary: to heal. To come to the Great Physician and say, "Make this sick one well!"
As I've sat on the couch and had my miserable moments this last week or so, I've had to let go. To let the world spin without me. As I watch the days tick by, I realize that the gift of time is precious. That just maybe being forced to stop isn't such a bad thing. Stop all this wildness and racing pace. This need to be somewhere, do something all the time. In today's society, many are too afraid to stop. If they get away from the whirling and the pressing and the seemingly endless rhythm of motion, what might the silence and the quiet do to them? They don't want to slow down. They may say they do but even when they have the opportunity to do so, they turn it away. I know I do sometimes too.
The Savior said that one necessary thing was to sit and learn from Him. He didn't say, "Go spend all your waking hours in this fast-paced chaos and try to hear me if you can." He didn't say, "In rushing and stressing out your strength will be renewed." He said that in quiet, in sitting, in getting away from the pressing and the driving - that would be the secret to discovering Him and the daily grace He gives.
And so…a few days ago, I put the list aside and said that it would wait. If all of those items on there were really His work for me to do, then all would be dealt with in its own time. He would ensure it was completed. In the meantime, I would focus on getting well. And that's what I have done. The furious pace races on without me. I haven't left the house in over a week because I was too ill to do so. But that's okay. And I realize it now.
Let the world rush on and have no time for the important things. I will attend to the one thing necessary and be far more satisfied for doing so. Healing comes in the stopping. In the pausing. In the quiet returning to the rest that only He can give.