The Danger Of Comparison

 One of the greatest sabotages of healing is comparison. It is dangerous and unproductive when it comes to sitting with our greatest wounds. Trying to measure ourselves to where someone else is or isn't does nothing but put more pressure on ourselves to be at a certain place in the journey which, perhaps, we're not ready for. 

I'm as guilty of this as anyone, to be honest. I've looked around at others' journeys and moved beyond a point of mere inspiration and encouragement to a place of frustration and dissatisfaction with myself because I'm somehow not at the same point as they are. Always gauging my own progress against their's robs me of peace and pride in the present place of my own path as well as heaps shame and pressure on me to force my body, mind, and spirit into a state of being that I've yet to arrive at. 

If there's one thing I've learned as I've walked my own journey, it's this: your body, your mind, your soul will only let you be in the place where it's ready to have you be. They can only process and handle one thing at a time. Neuroscience proves this and so does our own experience - you cannot force yourself to heal what you are not ready to face, and you cannot expect yourself to be at the same spot as another because your paths are each different. Your pasts are each different. And while there well could be similarities that allow you to relate or motivate one another on some level, you are still each walking your own way in your timing. 

2 Corinthians 10:12 warns that those who measure themselves by one another are "without understanding." Galatians 6:4 urges that people should accept the work and responsibilities that are their's and not compare themselves with others. Ephesians 5:1 exhorts that we should, instead, be imitators of God. The Bible is clear that those who wish to make the most progress in their personal life need to be focused on their own journey and not that of others. Jesus corrected Peter in this when, after his moving conversation with him in John 21, Peter pointed at John and asked Christ what the plan was for his life and Jesus simply told him, "Don't worry about John. You just focus on following me." 

At the end of the day, though our trails may cross and our journeys overlap, each of us is on our own way toward well-being and happiness and personal improvement. We have no actually idea what one another's paths are all about - only God does. One look at the created world around us and we see that most natural things do not think of competing with each other - they just grow on their own. And perhaps we could take a real lesson from that. 

President Theodore Roosevelt wisely noted, "Comparison is the thief of joy," and most of would probably agree that we are far less happy and satisfied with ourselves and our personal progress when we begin to be consumed with the progress of others and try to measure ourselves against where they are. While it is certainly appropriate for us to intersect with each other's lives and help positively encourage one another to move our individual stories forward, we cannot do so to the detriment of our own growth and allow the current state of others to disrupt the rhythm of our own process today. We each need to channel our energy and time into becoming the best us that we can and not get distracted with how that compares to the milestones of others. 

I just want to take a minute to acknowledge that wherever you are on your journey, that's where you are. There's nothing bad about it... unless of course, you are admittedly in a negative space and feel the need to break out of it and improve your life and make some changes. If you're simply plugging along your own path to healing and growth, it's okay to walk it at your pace and do it your own way. God is not judging you and neither am I. And nobody else can do the work for you when it comes to making the decisions that ultimately lead you toward recovery and life. 

You're on this road for a reason, and God is holding your hand as you go. You have support and can take courage from those who have passed this place already and know that it's possible to keep carrying on. So don't worry about where you are (or aren't) when it comes to your inner improvement and healing. You're not on anyone else's timetable or agenda, and getting caught up in how you compare to them is only going to stall your momentum and steal your joy. Let them walk their journey and you just concentrate on walking yours. 

When it all comes down to it, listening to your own needs and paying attention to your own body, mind, and spirit is far more important than pushing yourself to simply keep up with the pace and progress of everybody else. Sure, there's always going to be pressures that try to force you into a schedule or speed of healing that is harmful and causes you to bypass some truly valid recovery points simply because you're desperate to follow someone else instead of taking what your body, mind, and soul are willing to give you and what God is bringing you to as well. 

Just be where your feet are today. Breathe there. Listen there. Be present there. Honor what you must there. This is your story that you and God are writing together and nobody else's. Be okay with that, and you'll realize that the scenery truly is beautiful here in the right now, even as you continue to unpack and address the things that hurt you.