Beauty-Quest

 Lately I've been obsessed with beauty. No, not the kind with cosmetics and hair and physical appearance but the feeling I get around beauty. That special something that touches you deep inside and makes you take a breath, look around, and come alive to the amazing world you live in, flawed though it may be. 

See, coming out of what has seemed like a never-ending season of hard and heavy, it's like my soul is craving the signs of newness - the reminder that there really is sunshine after rain, light that follows dark, joy that arrives on the heels of sadness. The last four years of my life have felt like one perpetual funeral as I've grieved many losses and many personal changes along the way. It's felt as though, regardless of what season of the year life is in, I've never gotten out of the long, cold nights of winter.

 I've felt frozen. Lifeless. Still. 

I've had to remind myself that, as all growers know, what looks bare on the surface is still doing its work below, and I have still been putting roots deep into the true things and the unchangeable things and letting this seemingly unnoticeable time sow the seeds and create something fresh in me. It's been hard. It's felt unbearable at time. 

But isn't that the case with all good things? They never come about in an instant. And often, in this busy world of ours, we don't give the right things like love and people and dreams and hopes the time they need to fully become what they can be. 

Yet now, as I'm feeling a soul-spring thawing me all through, it's as though I need the tangible reminder of beautiful outward things to reflect this coming alive that I'm experiencing on the other side of loss, grief, and personal pain. Beauty-hunting, as one counselor I heard once put it. And this obsession I have isn't without neuro-scientific backing: color psychology has become more and more something various therapists and psychologists and even designers have sought to tap into because colors are more than pleasing to the eye. Colors literally do something to us that resonates emotionally and neurologically inside of us and draws our bodies into a certain mood or vibe based on what we are looking at. 

For example, green is associated with gentleness, invigoration, relaxation, and connection, reflecting the tones found in nature, while blue reflects calm serenity. Orange can denote feelings of rejuvenation, communication, and positivity, and yellow is associated with creativity and freshness. Pink stands for tenderness, vulnerability, youthfulness, hope, optimism, and innocence while purple stands for power, ambition, independence, extravagance, and mystery.  White is connected with light, goodness, cleanliness, safety, and purity while red speaks to energy, romance, passion, and love.

 You get the idea already - colors evoke responses in us that reflect our lives, our desires, and our personalities. They are what make the canvas of us interesting. With them we decorate our homes, we dress certain ways, we gravitate toward certain natural phenomenons. They speak for us what we can't always articulate for ourselves. They send messages to the world and to ourselves of who we are, what we're about, what we want, and where we're going.  Colors are important! They are as unique as the people they showcase and express. 

 Living here in the northern parts of the world, we respond to color like nothing else. When months of our year is mostly made up of white intermixed with dark green, the burst of hues in the springtime does something to cheer the heart. Especially this year, with an unusually late spring postponed by a winter that just refused to let go, the blades of grass and the ever-growing tree buds busting out, coupled with the sun's ray-warmth, has us all extra excited. 

With this in mind, I went into a store recently I've never been to, in search of something to wear to an upcoming wedding. Walking in the door, I was taken aback by the incredible spectrum of colors reflected in the merchandise. While I'm not a big follower of fashion, I have noticed the trend toward a neutral palette, and this beautiful display of pattern, texture, and visual vibrancy was a welcome change. 

As I walked around and started to pick out what I wanted to purchase, I made mention of this to the lady at the desk and she proceeded to talk about why the store feels color is so important. And something in me really responded to the fact that somebody out there was pushing back against the trend and emphasizing that variety mattered. And I realized that maybe we've also been trending toward something else - something that the fashion industry's push for neutrals is reflective of: perhaps we've been also trying to neutralize people and ideas instead of appreciating them for their uniqueness and vitality. 

If colors and the way they're used can have such an impact on the way we feel or think, what if people are, to a certain extent the same way? We all have traits and personalities and giftings that we bring to the table which, when blended right, are like that store I was in - a perfect harmony of hues that make the world interesting. But when we start to treat everyone like they have to be the same, things go wrong. We remove the emotive wonder that comes from having color in the world - a feast for the eyes that creates interest and variance and sparkle and life to an otherwise plain space. 

Since I was in that place, I've been looking around more and noticing, through the created world, just how much God loves to use color. It's in the flowers and the trees and the water and the mountains and the sky and the creatures. Color is everywhere! And yes, it's even in the variance of races and peoples and creeds. While we all bleed the same basic blood, there are differences in the way we talk and live and believe and look. And that's what keeps this big world interesting. God knew that to make everyone be the same would be to rob the earth of its uniqueness. We need the whole spectrum to keep this planet from growing dull and to keep us all learning from one another and the splash we can bring to the canvas of life. 

I'm learning how to own my color palette in the sense that I'm understanding how to embrace being the color to both my and others' world. I wasn't made to blend in. None of us were, really. We're made to stand out in our way and shine with the beauty that is us. And so let this be a reminder to all of us that it's okay to be the red or the blue or the brown or the green. It's alright to own that you're here in this world to add that splash of pink or purple or yellow. We need to do better about welcoming and appreciating each other for being the white or the orange instead of trying to get us all to live in black or beige or grey and all be the same. That's no fun, actually. And since we're made in the image of the One who designed colors in the first place, I think it's time we began finding a way to paint the portrait of life as He designed it: varied but also beautiful, every stroke special in its own wonderful way. 

Thus, my hunt for beauty continues. And just maybe you want to start looking for it, too.