A Needful Bend

 Unseasonable spring crispness is in the air as winter seems to be holding on in these arctic parts for all its worth. Funny how that feels metaphoric for much of life right now - that the ugly, the hard, the painful just appears to not be letting go... as if the breakthrough of all things new and fresh and healing is taking its time and we're left to keep waiting. Waiting for the renewal. Waiting for the answers. Waiting for the recovery. Waiting for hope. 

But if there's one thing that Last Frontier living in the 49th state has taught me, it's this: this place keeps stopping me...over and over and over again...and forcing me to pause, look up. It's impossible to be in a hurry when surrounded by all the things that speak the majestic reality of His power and glory. Whether it's the still-calm of a serene lake, the playfulness of neighborhood squirrels and birds and all manner of little furry, creeping things, the awe-inspiring light-show of the Aurora, the towering magnificence of the all-present mountains, or the gentle falling of snowflakes as whiteness piles up everywhere... in all ways, in all seasons, there is wonder and beauty to be found in all places. These created experiences speak of His love always, taking my breath away every single time. 

Standing in my driveway this April night, the northern lights are on full display. I can't recall them being this brilliant for quite sometime, and I'm amazed. Amazed at how great God is and how small I am. I am captured by the incredibleness of it all. And it strikes me as I stand here - pajama-clad and phone in hand, snapping what photos I can to capture and remember this moment - how, in order to experience God, we need to bend... 

At any time, we are either bending upward to the heavens or bending downward to the earth - either letting ourselves be enveloped in a Love larger than life itself or be consumed with an existence that will threaten to tear you right open if you keep staying there. And which way we bend is of our choosing: will we turn our face to the skies or our gaze to the earth? 

I think of all the madness that is upending our world right now and I sense it is getting harder to stay in touch with the Creator these days because we're all just doing our best to survive. Doing what we can to pay bills and protect ourselves and our loved ones and trying to keep our heads above the waves of it all. While necessary to a point, failing to balance these responsibilities with a few moments of wonder and you start to lose your perspective on life. Fail to give yourself some time to lift the eyes every now and then, to bend the body and the soul in a God-ward direction, and you'll start to lose heart in the midst of the challenges provided by a broken world. 

As happens to me so often when a tranquil minute like this seizes me, I find my thoughts so occupied by the shifting colors of light-waves dancing across the nighttime expanse that I've left the cares behind for awhile. I've forgotten temporarily about the problems I'm faced and the duties that call. And I'm reminded that this bending is needful. Necessary. Without this, I begin to break. 

Any physical therapist or chiropractor will tell you our bodies are not built to contort to the posture of devices and things that turn us downward. Do this for any length of time and your whole body will begin to suffer. I ponder if it isn't the same with our souls, too. Maybe we're not meant to ask of ourselves what we often do - to carry weights that are far too heavy for far too long and to expect that we will be able to sustain the pace of busyness and business that we think we must just to keep the world going around. And we wonder why we're dying earlier and getting sicker and stressing out and breathing hard? 

David, sitting out in the fields with nothing but bleating sheep and quiet pastures to keep him company, wrote so eloquently, "When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars which You have set in place, what is mankind that You are mindful of them, human beings that You care for them" (Psalm 8:3)? Being silent in the presence of God and His creation opened up his heart to the deepest questions, the purest praise. Somehow, in past civilizations, our ancestors were better at this. The pressures of a technological world and the divisions of the issues we face take their toll on us. Let's admit that. But what if there's still a way to find peace in all this? To choose this needful bend and exclaim amidst all the confusion and heartache, "Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth! You have set Your glory in the heavens..." (Psalm 8:1). 

Green-waves stretch like ribbons across the whole dark sky, sprinkled with stars shining like little tiny diamond-sparkles, proclaiming the work of His hands. This is why I live where I do - I choose to be where I can see and hear and feel God. I could've bypassed the weather heads-up that this Aurora display was happening. I could've stayed inside. But I chose to brave the chill and go out anyway. Delay bedtime enough to recenter myself with the Master and let the beauty do its work in me. And I wonder how it might change all our worlds if we made the effort to stop for these grace-moments more often. Cease to rush by and instead, make room for a little miracle to open up our hearts and get us to turn upward. 

Could each of us be missing something life-changing because we've forgotten which way to bend? Could we be rushing past an awe-inducing experience in the name of being too occupied? 

Well past 1am, I trudge back inside and decide to call it a night. The show is fading, and so am I. Time to shut the eyelids and catch some winks. Lying in bed, I find myself drifting off as breath-taking beauty still lingers in my mind, and I pray to my God, Fill me up with a child-like wonder so I can feel the beat of my Father's heart. I want to wake up to what I've been too blind to see so that I can know the grandeur of just how great You are. I want to become a little more like David...where I find my purpose and my peace amidst the incredible world You've made for our pleasure...and not lose sight of the many ways You love just because my problems have become too consuming. Consume me, instead, with Your love. Wrap me in a heavenly affection I can't contain nor explain, and help me see that this life, while fraught with many trials, is truly incredible... if only I have eyes to see and the will to look up.