To The Old Souls...

 I'm beginning to realize that I'm an old soul at heart. I've always struggled to fit into the constant motion and progression of the Western way, always preferring a slower and more deliberate, reflective path. I grew up in a community where the pace is just more laid back and I thought, for a long time, that other places were that way too... until I had to live other places for periods of time (or temporarily visit) and soon caught on that most people are living life at a speed that is not conducive to the kind I chose a long time ago for myself.  

I would watch this play out when friends or acquaintances who live elsewhere would come to Alaska for the first time. While captivated by the endless beauty, they simultaneously also struggled to slow down their thinking, their need to constantly be connected to technology, their need to hustle and grind and forgo sleep and restful, rejuvenating patterns. It literally took days (and for one in particular, weeks!) to finally wind down and start really, truly enjoying the calming affect of our way of life up here. And it slowly began to dawn on me that what constitutes as the "good life" in my book is a far cry from where most people are. 

It's becoming apparent to me that many of us think we have no choice but to participate in this hustle culture of our civilization, always pushing harder, faster, and for more. This has become normal to us but, the reality is, if we were to ask our ancestors just a few generations back, they wouldn't recognize the world we've carved out for ourselves: there are no breaks from the screens, no time for boredom and to get lost in our own thoughts, few friendships that stand the test of time, less and less correspondence and intentional communication, little to no proper rest or sleep, limited exercise or healthy outdoor activity, mountains of debt, immeasurable stress, and a family life that is barely hanging on... if we even still have that at all. 

We have trained ourselves that this is the way to a life that counts for something. We have come to believe that things like debt, stress, insomnia, being overweight, over-scheduled, over-stimulated are inevitable when, in truth, our bodies, our spirits, our relationships are crying out for us to stop the madness and get off the train. Our inner alarms are going off, saddling us with guilt as we realize we're losing touch with what matters while, at the same time, we chalk it up to "good ole days" and think we can never get that intentional way of life back again. Work pressures, school pressures, societal pressures, personal drive, constant information overload all call for our attention 24/7, convincing us that we will lose or miss out if we hop off the ride for even one little moment to check in with ourselves or make a change. 

And yet... 

The mental health statistics don't lie: we're becoming lonelier, unhealthier, and more stressed than ever before in history! The data is showing that this overachieving, overworking, overstimulated life is starting to fail us and, with many more technical advances on the horizon, we need to pause a bit and ask ourselves if the attitude of always progressing, always more is really worth what we're giving up. I get it that there are certain seasons where loss of sleep or the need to get a project done is necessary (infants can't change or feed themselves, after all), but to continuously be on this ever-moving conveyer belt? we weren't made for this. It's too much! Our bodies and souls are telling us to switch gears... or we will die. Literally. 

As I study this information, it's starting to sink in that part of why my life looks like it does is because I decided to get off the train years ago. There was no need to saddle myself with years worth of student loans for a degree I didn't want or need at the time. It wasn't necessary for me work a hustle-job that burned me out and left no time for honing my creative giftings and life message. Hey... I didn't even get a cellphone of any kind until my early twenties or have a personal email until around eleven years ago... because I tried to fight this trend and hold out for a slower life as long as I could. Did I get lots of pressure for this? Yes. Was I criticized? Of course. Did most people understand it? Not at all. Did I lose friends and opportunities because I wouldn't jump on board? Indeed. In fact, due to some work obligations at the time, I did step out of my normal rhythms in order to keep up with my responsibilities and... it nearly wiped me out. I lost myself. I listened way too much to what others said I should be doing instead of listening to my gut instincts. I forgot who I was. I didn't have boundaries. And it all led to me eventually standing in front of my bathroom mirror, asking myself who I even was anymore. 

I have made the decision, in recent years, to return to my old soul way of life. It was necessary for me to salvage whatever part of the real me was left. If I wanted to be the healthiest, happiest version of myself on a daily basis, I had to begin to say no. I had to lean into the things that have given my life meaning up to this point. I had to embrace where I've come from and realize that the life I am desiring to live is actually more of what the world needs: the ability to build and maintain meaningful relationships that last, the gift of making enough time in your schedule that you can still hear God or meet needs that you see along the way, the importance of getting a solid night's sleep on a regular basis, the enjoyment of taking in the beauty of our created world, the value of being able to create, the necessity of being emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically healthy, the freedom to not be saddled with mounds of debt. 

But this choice automatically means that some will find your life attractive, interesting, and inspirational while others will determine that it's too slow for them and you'll get left behind. You may have a smaller circle of friends because most don't think it's possible to live life at such an intentional speed and pattern. Yet, once you've decided that you're okay making some sacrifices today in order to perhaps be around in forty or fifty years to hold your grandchildren... once you've made up your mind that it's worth walking away from the stress of modern-day life: turning off the phone, disconnecting from work, sitting in silence, breathing deeply, sleeping well, having deeply fulfilling conversations, sitting with your emotions, etc. then you never look back. Once you've experienced the life of what's now looking archaic and out of date, you don't ever wish to go back. 

So... here's to the old souls. Cheers to all you rare ones out there who, like me, have chosen to step back from the incessant pressure of contemporary living and instead, go create a life that you're proud of. One in which your values are honored, your relationships matter and last, your health is solid, and you are at peace with your Maker. We need more of you out there and, even if your high-achieving friends or family think you're crazy, at some point something will happen to where they will need you and what you have to give. Life will fall apart for them and you'll be there, ready to give it to them. 

Keep on keeping on, brave ones. Someone has to still send the birthday cards, have time to take a call from a distressed loved one, meet for coffee with friends, watch their kids, do laundry for the young mom who just gave birth, hold the person who just lost everything and let them cry on your shoulder, write the poems and compositions, paint the canvases that give interest to our life, capture the little miracles in film that cause us to think deeply. Someone has to be the stuff that holds life together when everyone else burns out. So let's be proud of the fact that we're bucking the trend. At this rate, we just may be the last ones standing.