In Shadow's Valley

 It's 10:30 at night and I get a text from a friend several states away, asking for prayer for her ailing father. She sits in the hospital with him, waiting for answers and wrestling with her tired faith, wondering when the constant stream of doctors visits, surgeries, care-giving, hurting will end... not just for her father, but for her mother, too. She is weary, and I can sense it in her messages. She needs someone to sit with her in this. And I gladly do. Because I've been there.   

As we exchange texts and I try to infuse her bowed-over spirit with some level of hope and comfort, the thought occurs to me that that "valley of the shadow" the familiar Psalm speaks of comes for all of us more than we'd like. Somehow, we think we can avoid it. We want to steer clear of the darkness, the doubts, the fears, the suffering and stay where it's easy and comfortable. Yet, the truth is that without it, there is no faith, no growth, no redemption. Without a cross, there is no resurrection. Jesus knew. 

I think most of us, when we come up against such seasons in our life, except to find it within ourselves to run through it as quickly as possible. After all, the Bible does speak of life as being a race we're to run (Hebrews 12:1). But the reality is, Psalm 23 tells us that our journey through shadow's valley is made via walking. We "walk through the valley of the shadow." There is no running here. You don't have the strength. This is not something you can rush through and hasten. In fact, more than likely, your pace as slowed down to a limp. Maybe even a crawl. Perhaps you can making frequent pauses to catch your breath, call out for help, rest by the way. 

Anybody who has gone through their share of trials will tell you that life drastically slows down. You cannot force yourself to feel, do, or be things that your body and spirit won't allow you to. Everyday function is labored as you do your best to just take it one. little. moment. at. a. time. The rest of the world whirls on without you but you? you are just giving all your energy to attempting to do the next right thing with some efficiency. There is nothing you can do to push your way out of this any faster. You are here. And you will be until the valley gives way to sunrise. 

In a society of great pressures and hurries that call for us to get over and get on with life - to not grieve nor weep nor hurt for as long as we need - the valley of shadows can feel unsettling. The idea of life being reduced to a limp or a crawl feels like an unwanted blow to our ego that we're not certain we're willing to take. Yet the alternative? Yeah... that's probably not the best either: to numb, avoid, stuff, run from, hide the brokenness and refuse to sit with what our spirits and bodies are crying out for us to address. 

Fail to take your pilgrim path through Shadow Valley and you fail to walk your own way of suffering that the Master exemplified. 

Jesus modeled that the way to healing and resurrection led through the sorrows, the crushing things. Had He refused to drink the cup He pleased with His Father to remove, there would be no empty grave and no hope. We believe in what's on the other side of the valley-seasons because Jesus proved it. Jesus walked it. And He told us that becoming His disciple meant that we had to take up our own cross, deny our selfishness, and come after Him on the path He traveled. His wasn't one without pain and neither will ours be. If He stumbled to Calvary, why should we think that our journey won't involve us hobbling our way into His arms? Why should we believe this notion that we will be forever running and that pain can't touch us? 

Perhaps when we read about Jesus followers as going "from strength to strength" (Psalm 84:7) we ought to consider that these mentioned were said to have walked through the "valley of tears" having made it a place of abundance. You don't know what it is to be truly strong unless you've tasted what it means to be truly weak. You find out what real grace is when you need it the most. You discover God to be all He is for you when you've come to the end of your rope and you cannot pull yourself up any longer. When you've reached the end of yourself, you find that's where God is just getting started. 

So please know, friend, that limping and crawling is allowed. Jesus doesn't turn you away because you're not striding your way to victory as you pictured. In fact, He loves that you've finally realized just how much you desperately need Him. In this valley of Shadows, you will discover Him in ways you never dreamed. That's why He lets you take your walk through here. And, as you do, may you join with the Psalmist-King in saying that you will "fear no evil" here because the One who knows your pain is with you every stumble of the way.