Resetting Rhythm

So I'm on the phone with a friend, and we're talking about this beautiful quote I'd heard in an interview days earlier. The speaker had talked about how God is a God of rhythm - that all the seasons and the trail of His faithfulness reveal this ordered plan, this pace that He keeps. And he places in each one of us from birth this sense of timing, of speed conducive to us uniquely. Of this rhythm by which we as individuals can match the flow of God in our everyday life. For each person, that timing, that pace is different. Yet when we do life at that naturally-instilled rhythm, we notice the difference - we are more productive, more fulfilled, more energized because we are aligning ourselves with where and how God intended us as His created beings to function. We bring ourselves closer to the heart and character of our Maker as we reflect His ordered nature in our own. 

But this world, this culture keeps a rhythm all its own and all the individual rhythms combine and we become sucked into operating at a pace not our designed one and we begin to lose ourselves along the way. And then we judge one another for the rhythms we keep instead of appreciating the uniqueness of how we were made to tick. And the inner clock starts to lose time and years go by and suddenly we're wondering why we're so exhausted, defeated, feeling "off." 

We need a re-set, and we know it. But sometimes we feel guilty for attempting to return to the pace and the flow of life at which we do the best. We tell ourselves others won't understand. We tell ourselves we'll regret what we need to turn down in order to re-establish our rhythm. We tell ourselves it somehow isn't worth bothering. But, in doing so, we talk ourselves out of what we need the most - a returning to the ways by which we best experience the presence and pace of God. 

Suddenly I'm seeing it clear: sometimes the heart must be shocked in order to re-set it's natural timing and maybe all this pain has been the means for helping me return to what I need the most? 

The body, the mind, the heart can all trick themselves into adapting to a rhythm not their natural one. We can all find reasons to fill our time and our schedules with obligations and responsibilities and pressure from others whose rhythm is not our own. We can all end up trying to live a life that only tires, exhausts, burns out. Because we've gotten away from what worked in the beginning. We've left the pace God set and instead began letting other paces determine what we do and how we live. 

This time, this season of pausing, has caused me to evaluate a lot of things. I've spent hours looking deeply at things that need to change in my life in order to re-discover the abundant life God promises. A life, I feel, I left behind sometime ago. Not necessarily of my choosing, but the rhythm got thrown off. Now, I'm suffering the affects of that. Body, brain, and soul breaking down after years of having to run a seemingly never-ending marathon during which I've had no breaks. I'm at the point I can't run anymore. Can't even jog. Can hardly muster a step forward. And I'm at the side of the course, dry-heaving from exhaustion, realizing I can't keep up this pace any longer. If I have any chance of reaching the finish line, I need to return to the speed at which I began this race. If I am to heal, I need to stop living at the rhythm others are insisting I go and, instead, live at the rhythm God instilled within me at the beginning. The rhythm that brings out my inner child, my creativity, my fullest spirit. The rhythm at which I feel most alive. 

But, in order to do this, I must say no, and I must say yes. Must turn down certain things in order to obtain the best things. 

Christian evangelist Ravi Zacharias, who recently passed away, was asked by a young staffer in the final weeks of his life what he felt was the secret to his ability to continue growing personally in the faith as well as consistently keep churning out fresh content for the many crowds of people to whom he spoke. His answer was simple: he said it came down to the things he said "no" to. He went on to list many opportunities he had turned down over the years - interests and hobbies he could've pursued, relationships he could've chosen to develop, places he could've gone, engagements he could've taken on - but he said no to these things because he had what author Stephen Covey calls "a bigger 'yes'" burning inside of him. He knew it took a certain amount of time to properly study and to pray, to spend time investing in his family and close friendships, without which anything else would prove useless. And so he was willing to decline even good things in order to gain the better things. 

This has been apparently deemed the year of my re-setting. Of my returning. Of going back in order to go forward. I feel deep within me that great things are coming. I've been living in the God-breathed promise that all this will seed something good. Where I have sowed in tears, I will someday reap in blessing (Psalm 126:5-6). But as I wait for the seeds to sprout, I must prepare myself for the harvest. I must be renewed. Restored. I must allow the shock of all that's happened to bring me back to the life, the pace at which God and I operate best. I must be willing to let go of some things in order to establish the best things. I must seek out the places, the people, the authors, the lifestyle that speak my rhythm and lose the guilt over trying to keep a timing that isn't me. 

I've lost time trying to keep the wrong time and now it's time to get on the right time so I can feel the beat of God's time. Can't flow with the pace of His heart and know the peace that comes with that. 

Maybe you've gotten out of sync with God, too. Maybe you're like me and you've gotten so used to an alternate pace that you don't even realize you're off-pace anymore. But you feel deep down that you've lost a bit of yourself along the way. Kept feeling pressured to keep a timing that isn't you, but you told yourself accommodating others' rhythm was more important. Used compromise as a reason to leave your God-given pace and function solely on the rhythm of this world and of others. And maybe now, also like me, you're paying the price for doing that. Things have slipped, and you're wondering why you let them go. You're longing for a re-establishing of what worked before and the fulfilling, productive, creative, joyful life that came with it. Maybe God is also calling you to return as He is to me. Maybe God is all about showing us right now in this time what it means to get in touch with how He functions and what our innate rhythm actually is. Maybe God is asking us to say 'no' for the sake of a bigger 'yes'.

Are we willing to re-learn the steps to His heavenly dance?