Giving Back The Gift

 God gifted us with this year. What did we make of it? 

As I write this, I realize that 2018 is coming to a close, and this is the last post I will compose in this year. And honestly, I'm not certain exactly how to sum it up. In years past, it seems I've had words to express what I've learned, how I've grown, what I've experienced in a particular year... but this time, all I seem to be able to offer back to God is a jumble of emotions. 

This year had everything: big highs and big lows, some expected blessings and many un-expected ones. At times, grace was clearly evident but, at others, it seemed greatly hidden. 

Many losses marked these past twelve months... early in the year, I lost a dear friend who'd been a grandmother-figure in my life since I was about eight; many friends seemed to get cancer, several people left my small church for various reasons, a couple close relationships were re-defined and changed, then...a huge earthquake that shook the very heart of my community. A lot went on. 

Yet, through it all, a call to faith kept resonating in my soul: 

What will you make of this? Will you choose brave? Will you let faith be greater than fear? Will you keep trusting me to take these pieces and turn them into something beautiful for My glory?

Always a choice as to how to live these days we're given. Always a call to allow God to do more than we ask or imagine...even on the hardest days. Especially on the hardest days. 

I grew so much this year. But wow, was it hard sometimes! Living in grace, by faith, is challenging...because it goes against everything we naturally choose or want. I had many moments when I had to put a check on my fears and let the renewed take over. Let God be over all. And tell myself that He's got this. Always. 

I gained a level of acceptance with my life-story that enabled me to find peace fully with where I've been and who I am. And, as the year went on, I found my confidence in His plan more and more. This enabled me to articulate the truth about myself and my story and to be okay with however others perceived it. That's learning the art of moving to the rhythm of His grace. And life gains purpose the more you do that. 

I am thankful that the safe and loving arms of Jesus held me fast in 2018. While there were moments when I felt shaken, discouraged, or tested, I never felt hopeless or abandoned. And He continuously gave me the grace to keep praising, to keep thanking... no. matter. the. circumstances. 

As I look ahead to 2019, I have no idea what storylines will be written. I step into an unknown with a known God, trusting Him to fulfill His plans and excited for how I will get to be part of them. And it is likely He will have more opportunities in store that will test my belief and remind me of how much I need Him. But there is peace and assurance that grace will be given for every moment. And the storehouses of His goodness are unlimited. 

We now bid goodbye to another year in the history books. Thank you for being part of my journey and my life in some way in 2018. 

Now, God is gifting us with another year. What will we make of it?