Life Was Meant To Be Celebrated

 Several nights ago, I was enjoying a quiet evening at home, watching a movie, and a line seemed to jump out at me. It was simply this:         

Life was meant to be celebrated. 

I sat there wondering how many of us actually live like this is true. For most people, I believe the daily grind of life in combo with the varied traumas, unhealed wounds, and unresolved pains we all carry inside ourselves make for a situation where we often are just trying to get by. Survival mode has become our norm. Of course we make room for celebrating things like birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, national holidays, or special events like retirements and bay showers but, for the most part, our lives revolve around trying to keep ourselves and those we love safe. I'm not certain any of us would say that we are actively in the business of celebrating life itself. And I'm beginning to think that maybe we're missing out on something profound.    

Here's why I say that: as I've studied the mental health and practices of other cultures around the world, I've begun to notice something surprising. In these different nations, they seem to possess something that western civilization has distanced itself from and I'm becoming convinced that it's been to our western detriment as a whole. These countries understand the value of celebration. If you go to some of the European nations like Spain or Italy or a nation in Africa or even someplace in Asia, you will find people that can party about anything at the drop of a hat. Doesn't matter if it's a guest from out of town or a major life event or a tradition in their culture, these people will literally stop everything in order to give someone or something it's proper respect or honor. Every person and every special thing that comprises life deserves to be given its due. That's how they think and live! 

Along those lines, I've come up with five different areas where I see this in action in these various cultures: 

Laughter - These people understand the power of collective humor and being able to smile at all of life... even the things that are painful and inconvenient. They can laugh together even in the face of great suffering because they understand that, without a sense of humor and an eternal optimism that exceeds the temporary thing you're going through, you will cave under the weight of whatever adversity has befallen you. Their cultures have existed for thousands of years and they accept life comes to them in cycles. Prosperity and pain have woven through their nations and generations before and life will go on yet again. Science has shown that the ability to practice gratitude, to find humor, to choose a hopeful perspective has the power to alter the resilience factor in our brains by a significant margin. Without even knowing these studies, this is just a way of life to these people and, in all honesty, it's something that's quite opposite that of our intense western way of thought and response. Especially in America, we can be so focused on trying to work or solve our way out of a problem that we forget to find enjoy the process and smile in the midst. 

Song - Throughout the centuries, collectively joining in music has proven to be an anchoring thing for cultures, especially in hard times. Many nations have their versions of folk music or love songs that have been handed down for centuries and, without much prompting, they can burst into song together in a beautiful way of uniting that western cultures seem to lack. Particularly for Americans, our music is made  up of so many different styles and cultures that we don't really have a specifically American style that average people know by heart. We all have individual songs or genres that resonate with us and, when we find someone else who knows it, we can join together but these other nations have a universal unity around music. The mothers have sung them to their children from birth, lovers have sung them to their significant other, the elderly have sung them to the grave. They take these songs with them through all their stages of life and you will see people on the street corners playing them, hearing folks singing them in the restaurants or bars or pubs, or families gathered around the dinner table. It's a way of getting through hard times and bringing people together. It's a way of celebrating the moment and the traditions of their culture. One great example of this is the African slaves who worked the plantations in our early history. The politics of it all aside, these people gave us what are now known as Spirituals - songs that originated in the fields as a way of lifting praise and asking God for help amid the oppression of their day. 

Food - Most of these cultures understand the power of gathering around food. Food is their way of expression hospitality, of processing events, of showing love, of building and keeping community in a world of division and distraction. I can think back to different friends I've known over the years who came from places like Thailand or Korea and who literally stuff you to the gills every time you're together. Food is the love language they use to show you that you matter and are their guest of honor. "Let me cook for you!" is the gateway to their heart. And it's not even worth it to try to compete with them in terms of outdoing them in the kitchen in quantity or hospitality. They will always outdo you because it's how they roll. And you learn to accept and just enjoy it. Cooking is an art. Cooking is a way of gathering together and working together and sharing thankfulness of the abundance of the earth and life itself. It's much more than a meal to them. And it can't be rushed. Whereas most westerners think of food nowadays as an afterthought and look for the most convenient and easy way to grab a bite, these people stop their day to give food i's proper place in the schedule. Dinner may take several hours. And nobody would ever think of not eating at the dinner table and making a meal the star of the show. In fact, I learned that Jewish people even use food and communal dining as a way of dealing with trouble... a literal "table in the presence" of the hardships of their day. Loss or pain of any kind could have happened to them but they deal with it by gathering around a table and breaking bread in God's presence and using the togetherness around food to help each other through their suffering. Incredible! The world also saw this during the 2020 lockdowns when Italians were gathered out on their balconies and were finding a way to still talk to each other, sing, eat meals, and connect even while social distancing. 

Regular gathering - This sort of goes along with the eating part in that these cultures don't mind being in each other's space and knowing everything about each other's life. They aren't as concerned about independence and personal space as westerners are and want to be part of everything that is happening (good or bad) in your life. They make regular time to talk about what's happening and to gather together in meaningful fashion. You'll see this when Hispanic workers here in America take lunch breaks or when other nations get together and sit in the town square to play chess or to talk. Europeans stroll around town in the evenings and touch base with each other. Some places its the local farmer's market. Or the women may gather to sew or cook together. There's a sense of having and building community that matters to these people. They know you can't survive alone. And they prioritize getting together for in person connection regularly. At least in the United States, while everyone wants to get together or says often that "we should get together" the truth is, most of us aren't willing to stop our lives enough to actually put a date on the calendar and make it happen. Plus, we're much to dependent on our personal entertainment (tv shows, phones, etc) that it's made us feel less of a need to be with people. These other societies value their traditions and their communities too much to let something so valuable as connection go. Perhaps we ought to do the same. 

And finally...

Silence - These cultures understand the power of non-verbal communication. Of being able to soak in the gift of life in stillness and quiet contemplation without the need to constantly fill the silence with noise and distraction and motion. Talk to Asians (who are the masters at this, by the way!) and they are appalled at how westerners feel the need to be so active. Even Europeans have noticed this when they visit places like America - the lights are always on in people's homes at all hours of the day and the motion never really stops. Nobody pauses and gives life some space to breathe. Nobody really understands how to simply allow something to be. The art of being able to read a book silently or to sit with someone and look at a beautiful sunset without speaking or to just breathe alongside another human being is all but gone. Even the ability to read non-verbal cues and communicate with our eyes, our hugs, our body language is becoming a lost art. We're going too fast to actually enjoy the ride.

 This was driven home to be a bit as I was recently hiking here in Alaska and passed an elderly Asian man and his wife who were walking the opposite way. We smiled at each other. No words were ever exchanged but he put both thumbs up as he walked by and grinned as if to say, "Beautiful day, isn't it? Glad you're out enjoying." There's something to be said for learning to listen with the heart and get in touch with the deeper things most of us are going too quickly to sense or feel. Making ourselves be still, put down the devices, look around us, take in some deep breaths, let our ears hear the birds or our noses smell the scents or our eyes take in the beauty that's all around us takes work these days. It means we must be intentional. We must train ourselves to make room for solitude, for boredom, for mindlessness, for prayer. Unless we let there be some "free time", some "down time" that's not filled with a thousand other things, we will continue to lose what these nations know is so important: to let life be without the pressure of having to rush onward to the next thing or fill the emptiness because we're uncomfortable. 

Each of these cultures understands the necessity of holding these traditions and connections as precious and, beyond that, of turning all of life into a celebration. Particularly when you've carried trauma or pain for an extended period of time, it becomes even harder to notice the true, beautiful, and good things that are always around us. We forget how to celebrate. How to just stop life and say, we're finding a reason to be present and honor what is here, even if there's no obvious reason at all. This even goes for seasons of mourning, as well. These cultures will pause a whole town or village for a period of days or weeks as a way of remembering their own who died and showing solidarity with the loved ones left behind. Even something like a loss is given its place. Everyone stops and honors the pain, acknowledges the suffering. Basically, whatever life gives them, they give it a certain recognition and they know how to celebrate it. 

Part of my own healing journey from years of anxiety, depression, and trauma has been getting back in touch with the moment... Making myself stop all the rushing thoughts and release the inner tension and bring my focus all into the present, allowing my sensing to pick up on whatever is happening in that space at that minute and being thankful for the gift of being alive to see it. Sometimes you just have to stop moving and start giving your few, precious days on this earth their proper due. Bake with your kids. Sit in your garden. Gather some people in your home and sit together. Go chase the sunset and watch it unfold. Make the special dinner even if there's no obvious celebration. Get dressed up and go out somewhere just for the fun of it. Pause on a walk and give yourself a few moments to notice all the sounds and sights around you. Yes, it takes purposeful effort on your part. But a deliberate choice like this can end up being the thing that sets you free to start enjoying the life you've been gifted and made for. Because, in the end, the truth is that we were created for more than just survival.