Slapping On A Smile
I caught myself doing it again: slapping on a smile when nothing inside of me feels alive. Saying that I'm "fine" when the whole world around me doesn't feel fine and all I want is to bring back what's been lost and to stop the soul-bleeding and the suffering and to have the ground quit shaking all the time. This comes from a heart that's tired. Honesty spilling out of a spirit that is weary and flesh that is weak. And somehow, God knows. He always does. And judge me for being here, He does not. Years ago, I lived a life behind a mask. I pretended. I acted. I told the world that I was happy. I gave the impression that I was spiritual. I tried to be the good kid. Yet, behind it all, I held deep doubts and fears and trauma and pain that I never let the world see. And so they thought I was okay. They believed the show. And so it continued. For a very long time. I didn't let anyone into my dark place. And I wasn't even certain God could invade that sp...
