Insatiable Longing

 So I came across this random video as I was scrolling social media one day, and this guy was talking about his dating life and how frustrating it has become to make simple plans and go out and meet someone. He specifically described the dating app scene and how difficult it is to get anyone to commit and actually follow through on a date. He said he sets up the date to meet them and then they don't show up because something better came along and they back out. They kept scrolling and looking for something more before they even gave the offer on the table a chance. As I listened to him share his dating struggles, I began to realize that he is actually hitting on something far bigger than just the relationship scene - something that is indicative of our culture as a whole and how we approach almost everything...   

These days, at the tips of our fingers, is a limitless world of options. We can order groceries without ever having to make the effort to go out the door. We can select from endless food choices for takeout meals. We can do online banking. We can text or FaceTime friends anywhere at any time. We can scroll social media and find out any information about any subject as well as catch a peak at what our friends are doing round the clock. We can look up hacks and tips on Youtube, Google any bit of information or research any topic, learn just about any skill and yes, even potentially meet the love of our life or a new best friend. The possibilities are endless. And so are the decisions. So is the decision-fatigue of living in a world like this. And the sacrifice we've made is that we are never satisfied. We're always filtering anything through this lens of a potentially better option. We cannot appreciate the present because we are always looking ahead to what's next or what could be. 

Historically, we are a forward-thinking country here in America. It's what helped us win our independence and what drove us to forge new frontiers. It's what has allowed us to be the pioneers of so many ground-breaking discoveries and skillsets that have helped to change the world. But it's also our achilles heel because we don't know how to decide if or when something is ever enough. We don't know how to turn that future-thinking part of ourselves off. And the modern "gift" of technology is making this even harder for us to do. Other cultures and nations around the world have managed to still retain some of that presentness and ability to fully appreciate the gift of what's important, leaving them some of the essence of their ancestors and a deep connectedness to family, faith, tradition, and community. I have found myself becoming increasingly challenged by this contrast between the country I call my home and those other places where enough is considered wisdom.

I think of how so much incoming advertising and information bombards with this promise of improving your life, only to leave you reaching for something else once you've briefly satisfied that itch. It applies to monetary purchases, personal plans, lifestyle scheduling, relationships, faith, and so much more. People change locations, churches, jobs, and careers way more nowadays than their ancestors ever did. Back in my grandparents day, once you chose a place to settle, that's largely where you stayed until you died. There was a sense of feeling as though the house you had, the church you attended, the place you worked, the friendships you cultivated, the life you built was enough. It was a simpler time when we didn't allow ourselves to have so many options and make it hard to see the beauty of what's right in front of us. Because here's the thing... 

It's healthy to give yourself a few differing points of view. 

It's healthy to have trusted advice from people you respect. 

It's healthy to have choices on what to eat, wear, places to go, things to do, etc. 

What isn't healthy is when we allow ourselves so many options that we lose sight of the contented life. We keep moving the goal posts on what is considered satisfactory and it starts to become easier to miss and even let go of really solid people and things that are already in our life because we're too focused on what's ahead or what could be. The excess of this leads to featured relationships, inability to commit, decision fatigue, burnout, and overall dissatisfaction with our everyday life. The simple stuff used to make our ancestors happy. Now, we think we have to have it all until we can feel like we have enough. And to be honest with you, I'm pulling out of this mentality. I'm done. 

Years ago, I realized that the savoring way was calling to me and I actually needed far less in the way of money, commitments, career, etc. in order to be supremely satisfied. I noticed that the more I resisted the pace of society and chose to live the intentional life, the more alive I actually felt. The small things became big sources of joy to me. It was like time slowed down and I could hear my own thoughts. I could hear God's voice. I could fully see the people in my life for who they are and give them my undivided love and attention. Yes, I also realized that most people weren't going to live this way with me and my circle of friends might be small. Yes, I knew that I would probably "miss out" one some opportunities because I refused to hop on the hustle train. But also knew that constantly reaching for the next thing... and the next... and the next would lead to a life of lack that would take away any ability within me to fully appreciate my own precious ride through this life. Especially following a lot of loss in my story, I believed in my decision to go a different way because I saw that the insatiable longing everyone is after is really just an inner ache for something eternal only God can fill. 

And so my challenge to you is this: what would happen if you made the decision to accept life as it's given to you as being enough? If the family, church, community, job, etc. that you have is good and solid, what might change in your life if you simple stopped looking for the next thing and just sat with the gifts in front of you right now? Perhaps you'd be surprised at what you see. Maybe you would suddenly realize that you actually have it pretty good and reaching for yet one more thing isn't actually all that necessary. Maybe you would finally be still enough to hear what God has to say and to notice things you've been too busy to see. Just maybe you'd also finally see just how loved and special you are and that the world around you is better simply because you exist in it. 

Run an experiment on yourself this week: resist the urge to make another change, another move, add another option and see what happens. What you have just may prove to be enough after all.