Pilgrim or Tourist?

 It's a distinction I've never come across before... at least not quite in this way... but one that's suddenly making sense of my entire healing journey and this newly acquired philosophy of living that's become my truth in recent years. And it comes at the hands of a travel magazine I subscribe to, and I'm struck with this revelation as I cozy under my bedcovers and read a little before turning out the lights.   

The writer of this specific article is talking about a trip she took awhile back to trace the life of an ancient queen lost to history in hopes of learning more about her mysterious story through the places and reminders that are still left of her. Along the way, she met up with a guide that helped her gain more information and something he said to the writer seemed to jump off the page: 

He talked to her about the difference between tourism and pilgrimage. Tourists seek out specific locations and experiences with specific reasons or hopes in mind while pilgrims approach a place with "a heart open for transformation." He went on to talk about how "tourists come with expectations, but pilgrims are open to what the journey will show and grow in them." He even clarified that pilgrimage is far different from pure walking because that's only for the body - pilgrimage is for the soul "because you're opening yourself up to experience the unexpected, heading towards an unknown destination." 

I live in tourist country. Over 3 million people visited my home state of Alaska last year, at least a third of them passing through my area alone. I'm familiar with all of the cultures and languages filling up the towns and cities near where I live with eager visitors hoping for a glimpse at Mt. McKinley or a bear sighting or to catch a fish or simply take in the beautiful scenery. Whatever their goals for being here, tourists make the trip here because they have a certain picture in mind of what their experience will look like. Even if it often surpasses expectation or looks different from what they thought, I can validate that the guide's assessment is true: people come with a specific goal of how they want Alaska (or anywhere else, for that matter) to deliver for them. 

But as a resident here who has seen and been to all the sights multiple times in my life and gotten used to the complexities of calling this place home, I've realized for a long time that it takes more than just some expectations to keep you here. Wanting to see or do certain things may bring you up the first time but it isn't going to make you stay long term. You have to want something more. Like any journey, the motivation you set out with at the beginning will eventually wear off and you'll need to discover a deeper reason for continuing on the quest you began or else you will quit. After awhile, the place can lose some of its charm and adventure unless you have learned how to keep seeking out what else the land has to teach you about itself, life, and you. 

It struck me as I read this magazine article that it's no different when you embark on a journey of self-discovery or healing, particularly if it involves God. There is the initial anticipation and excitement of coming across certain milestones or high points along the way... and that lasts for awhile... until one day, you realize that you're faced with the decision of what this path is going to do for you moving forward. If you keep treating it like a tourist - looking for the next big thing and revolving yourself around set expectations - you will be disappointed after a time and probably lose interest in sticking with the process. But if you come with little expectations, a whole lot of curiosity, and a heart and mind that's open to change and inner transformation, suddenly the entire journey takes on a new light. 

Maybe this is what keeps me returning to the trails and locations around this place every year even if I've been there dozens of times before: I am coming back to mine something more for my soul that can change me from the inside out. It's bigger for me than just to see a familiar place again - it's to enter a space where I know I will encounter God time after time and one that never gets old no matter how many visits I pay to it. And the people (even residents!) who treat these spots like tourists rather than pilgrims miss out on the deepest things moments like these have to give them. They run right by the quiet revealings in their haste to get to the expected end and someday, they just might wish they'd traveled this road a little slower... stopped to listen and look a little more. 

It's been about fifteen years now that I've been on my own personal journey to healing and wholeness. Along the way there have been many unforeseen twists and turns that I would never have written into the story that have made it all the more meaningful and unique, however challenging they have been. In the beginning, I know I played the tourist. I wanted to be well and find answers, but I definitely had a set idea in my mind of what that looked like. Over time, the path has destroyed all the set expectations I ever had and forced me to open my heart and hands to something bigger than just a singular goal - to accept the gift of transformation that the journey had to offer me and to become the pilgrim instead of the passing visitor. To stay here as long as necessary. To keep discovering. Keep learning. Keep having my mind blown over and over by a God and a life that is incredibly surprising. It's why, in spite of the pain the path has given me, I've continued on because after all this time, there's no turning back now. 

"Pilgrimage is not about far you travel," the guide added, "but about how deeply you travel." 

In a world driven by set objectives and emergencies and time-sensitive deadlines, of people pressured by society's expectations, and the whirl of chaotic stress that consumes most of our daily living nowadays, I put forth that pilgrimage (external or internal) is the solution. Refusing to treat our life like a series of boxes to be checked off like a travel list when visiting a new place and instead, immersing ourselves in this radically beautiful gift called life and actually taking the time to deeply savor what is offered to us here. This big, bold, amazing world was created for our viewing pleasure by a God who holds galaxies in place yet still knows our name. 

Why in the world... in all this world... would you ever hurry past such a thing?