When We Say Yes

 I saw this post on Instagram the other day and it really resonated with me. The post simply posed this deep question...

Why does nobody talk about the pain that comes with obedience? 

I guess it's something that followers of Jesus perhaps feel but never verbalize but I can personally attest to the fact that, after a number of years of doing life alongside the Messiah, obedience has been anything but easy. Somehow, people in the faith community often seem to make saying yes to the Savior such a simple and smooth response but the truth is, sometimes the choices that surround such obedience carry with them a great cost and come with a lot of painful results: relationships may change forever, loss may ensure, pushback will happen, money may dwindle, life can get terrible challenging or inconvenient, things become more uncertain. To do what Jesus commands may cost you everything. And, in our current society of comforts and convenience, I'm not sure most of us are prepared to take that kind of risk. 

I've been thinking a lot about what this means for my own life as I've found myself especially tested in this area in recent months. There seem to have been so many tests that have come my way, forcing me to ask the question if I will continue to say yes to Jesus no matter the outcome. Pressing me to choose yet again to trust the plan and the One behind it... even when it hurts. And I've kept on circling back to why I decided to say yes in the first place: I'd tried all the other options and failed. I felt like the disciples of old when they told the Master, "Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life" (John 6:68). To take the plunge with Jesus was the only choice I had left. I took the risk of faith and never looked back. 

I think of all the times I've had opportunities to settle for less or to turn away from the plan - to stop trusting and to take things into my own hands - and somehow, while I know it might be easier to go another way, there just has never been another way. Him - the only Way - is the only way for me. But has it been tougher this way? Absolutely. To leave my life in the hands of the One who writes the best stories and to keep placing my faith in the journey He has set for me when I know I could compromise and get pretty quickly all I've prayed for and dreamed takes all the courage within I can muster. And, to answer the person's question online, no I don't think we talk enough about the pain that comes with obedience. We make it out to be so easy to yes to God but my experience has been anything but that at times. 

There have been moments when God's plan didn't feel good. When it hurt so bad to do what He asked that it was difficult to imagine it could be the right thing or that the pain would be worth it. Especially when He asked me to let go of someone or something that I loved dearly. To say it was easy to believe that God was still good when what He walked me through felt so ugly would be a lie. There were times I just wanted to run the other way. Avoid the suffering and the struggle. Just have it easy for once. Were there instances where I begged God for another way? Were there times I wished it didn't have to be this hard... especially when others seemed to be getting there easier than me? Were there moments when I cried out why and asked like the Savior if the cup could pass from me instead of having to drink it? Yes. A thousand times yes. 

But equally true has been the fact that, at every point like this, I've also been able to trace all the times when trusting God has paid off. When I can see the Almighty's hand and know that His care is the best and safest place to be. When I've been directed in a way I never would've imagined or picked but it has, without a doubt, proven to be the right one. Along the journey, God has left evidence that I can return to - divine encounters that increase my faith and remind me that He can always be trusted. That no matter how difficult His ask may be, saying yes to Jesus makes room for Him to do what only He can do. The greater the sacrifice on my part, the bigger the testimony on His. And I've come too far to turn away now. While the surrender has certainly not gotten any less painful, the reasons for saying yes have gotten easier. 

I don't know what God may ask of you or me this year. It may be one where the road is smoother for awhile and things go as we hoped. It may bring with it many unexpected turns and the saying yes might be harder.  Whatever the upcoming months hold, we can rest in the fact that the One who holds it all is faithful and true. That we are loved and held in all of it and His will is the safest place. It may feel utterly heartbreaking in the moment but, in time, our soul catches up and we come alive when we keep saying yes to Him. That simple answer from us opens up a whole new world that allows us to see so many beautiful things... even if they stem from the deepest pain we've ever tasted.