Prepare To Be Surprised...

 One of my favorite authors, Henri Nouwen, once beautifully wrote: "We must learn to live each day, each hour, each minute as a new beginning, as a unique opportunity to make everything new. Imagine that we could live each moment as a moment pregnant with new life. Imagine that we could live each day as a day full of promises. Imagine that we could walk... always listening to a Voice saying to us, 'I have a gift for you and can't wait for you to see it!'" 

I've been contemplating a lot lately about the element of surprise in our healing journey. So many try to pain this picture that healing will be predictable, routine, a constant upward climb until we reach the place we have expected to be but what I've discovered along the way is this couldn't be further from the truth. Anybody who has tried to work their way toward a life of greater peace and wholeness knows that it often has involved unexpected twists and turns you didn't see coming. There are happy and hard moments that keep one trusting because you realize very quickly that this story isn't about reaching a certain destination but becoming a certain person along the way. While goals and outcomes may play a part in it and cooperation with the Great Physician is essential, at the end of the day, life is going to life and surprise is going to be part of it. That's what makes it meaningful. 

Like any good story, life isn't meant to be predictable. We've all read a book or watched a movie where the storyline was too obvious - too predictable. We could see the end result coming from a mile away and we sort of tuned out after awhile. We lost our interest. We didn't feel expectation or curiosity or wonder anymore because we knew how it was going to end. Oddly, we often beg God for a predictable personal story - because it feels safe. We want to know who and how and what we can trust. But God, being the Master Author, knows that's not how all good stories go. If He told us everything to expect, He knows we'd tune out. We wouldn't have any reason to keep living our way into the answers. We wouldn't have to exercise faith. We wouldn't need to surrender. 

One of the greatest lessons I've learned on my own healing path has been the need to give up control. While certain things like keeping healthy boundaries or prioritizing what matters certainly involve some level of individual responsibility and control, the real wonder and purpose comes from living with open hands. Of walking into situations with total confidence in the favor and plan of God and no expectation other than God always does a good thing. I've slowly come to see the value of leaving the script up to Him and not feeling the need to always grab the pen or demand a preview of what's to come just so that I can be okay. 

True faith says, I can be okay even if everything and everyone around me isn't. 

Years ago, I made a choice to start living unafraid and that has involved walking into a ton of situations with no big plan other than to be obedient to my divine assignment and to keep my eyes open with anticipation for what surprise is waiting for me in that moment. It's brought with it more uncertainty in some ways because God doesn't always give me the answer or the direction right away. Sometimes I find myself waiting in the mystery longer than I thought. But in that unknown has also come the opportunity to discover a hidden gift that I otherwise would've rushed past had I not been forced to sit in the uncertainty for awhile and look around. I have also realized that living this unafraid life has released me of so much anxiety that often plagues people that are still striving to control the narrative. I gave God the narrative a long time ago and He hasn't failed me yet. 

I actually told Him the other day that so much of where I'm currently at in my story feels out of control. It's like I don't have time to overthink or try to get ahead of the storyline because it's happening so randomly and quickly. Yet, at the same time, there's this beautiful peace. Everything feels so very... right. It is answered prayers happening in real time. And thus I'm very much okay with all that is taking place because I know that each of these moments are beautiful gifts that leave me struck with wonder and remembering that God never disappoints those who leave the story to Him. I see now that children love to live in the element of surprise - even the tiniest things feel like a gift to them - and perhaps that's what Jesus was after when He said you couldn't do life in His kingdom without becoming childlike once again (Matthew 18:3). 

Basically, I've discovered that the real message God has for us on the journey is: prepare to be surprised. As Nouwen so well articulated, every single moment is bursting with possibility and the invitation to come and see the gift it is waiting to hand over to us. There are no mundane hours, no boring days when it comes to the life of trust and sadly, in our society, we have almost lost the ability to be in awe about anything or to savor the powerful present in the way we were intended. A significant aspect of the healing process is understanding that the journey itself is where the real stuff happens - not the destination. So often, we're so busy trying to get to some intended place or result that we miss all the good things along the way. 

I don't know about you, but I'm determined not to miss any of it anymore. I want to keep practicing the art of being where my feet are and walking through it with a fully alive soul and open eyes.  This world holds so many incredible things and people and experiences - divine appointments and encounters that seriously make us drop our jaw in wonder if only we will slow down to notice and ask God to keep us in the present moment so the wonderful things happening don't become something we wish we hadn't missed later on. And it all begins with the magical words: prepare to be surprised!