Lessons In Compassion From The People's Princess

I recently heard someone say that "time is a very good storyteller," and it's really quite true. With any person, famous or ordinary, the only real measure of their true essence is the track record they leave behind them as the years progress. In so many cases, someone's true value or contribution to society was only seen after their death or, at the very least, as more information came out later on. Time always tells the real history. Even if the facts have been blurred or manipulated in the past, the truth will eventually come out and show us who the real person actually was.  

That's certainly been the case with Diana, Princess of Wales. "The People's Princess," "The Queen of Hearts," she lived a highly scrutinized life that was often interpreted through the lens of the public press, leaving onlookers to figure out who she really was. It's only been since her untimely death in 1997 that more details have emerged that have helped admirers around the world learn who she really was and why she fought the royal system so hard. She was a visionary. She saw the world not only as it presently was but also as it could be. She wasn't afraid of change and often sought to bring that to a job steeped in old traditions that kept royals distant from their subjects and out of touch with people's real concerns and daily problems. Diana led with her heart and wanted to do her part to shake things up. From the clothes she wore to the causes she picked, she established herself as the ultimate compassionate - willing to use her position of influence to bring attention to downtrodden, underprivileged, and hurting. 

Much of her years in the public eye took place when I was very small, so I most of what I've learned has been since her passing but I can tell you that the world has never seen someone so passionate about the welfare of the human race. And more people ought to be studying her life and the creative ways she found to touch others through her influence. I was reminded of this while visiting a beautiful exhibit on her life as seen through the eyes of her longtime photographer, Anwar Hussein. Her trust in him allowed him to capture some unreal, and now famous, shots of her in both public and private that stand as a living testament to the person she was and the things she cared about. In a world that desperately needs more compassion, I came away profoundly touched by what I read and saw in this exhibit. A couple things really stood out to me and I felt were worthy of sharing with all of you, whether or not you know much about Princess Diana... 

The Power of Touch - In the exhibit, it was noted how much Diana paid attention to the power of human touch. Whether it was dressing in fabrics or jewelry that blind people or young children could engage with her through the tactile sense or bucking royal protocol in refusing to wear gloves so that people could shake hands with her, it was important to her that she was accessible to everyone and that the so-called "untouchables" of society would be seen and treated differently for her having interacted with them. The fact that everyone had value drove her to view all people with equal dignity and also drew some major criticism from those who felt she had gone too far in her approach. (Sort of also sounds like a certain Jesus figure in history doesn't it?) 

One quote about her that stood out to me in the display was that her "greatest legacy is seen in how she would take her gloves off to advocate for the outcasts..." and I realized that part of the path to compassion is in our willingness to remove our gloves - remove the gloves of privilege, remove the gloves of fight, remove the gloves of protection and instead, be willing to get close to people and their suffering. Diana sought to remove barriers that would prevent her from being able to touch people with her hands and her heart, and we shouldn't be any different in the way we meet our fellow humans in everyday life. Unless we're willing to get down into someone's pain, we'll never earn their trust, no matter how hard we try in other ways. 

It also interested me how the exhibition took her approach to the power of touch and broke it into several types: comfort, compassion, generosity, influence, dignity, legacy. To touch someone is to do more than just give them a hug or a handshake or even to move them with your heart. To touch them is to convey something and to give them something they'll take away for a lifetime. People who met Diana never forgot her - not just what she looked or sounded like but how she made them feel. They have carried with them these moments where she made them feel like they were the only one who mattered to her in the whole world and, for someone so famous as her, that's quite the feat! We should never underestimate our ability to leave a lasting impression on others in the way we speak to them, touch them, and purposefully engage with them. 

Not Afraid of the Rain - A story was told in this exhibit that involved Diana's attendance at a concert given by Italian tenor, Luciano Pavarotti in 1991. It was an outdoor event, and rain was pouring down on the crowd in London's Hyde Park, prompting people to start opening their umbrellas. Unfortunately, this led to some not being able to view the stage and see Pavarotti perform, so concert staff asked that people be willing to brave the elements and put down their umbrellas so everyone could see the show. Princess Diana was the first one to put away her umbrella, and everyone else followed suit. Pavarotti was so glad the concert could continue that he dedicated the next song to her. After the show was over, she went backstage to find him and speak to him personally. Her beautiful hairdo now drenched with rain, she ran her fingers through it and joked to Pavarotti, "Do you like my new hairstyle? Very special for you!" It was the beginning of a lifelong friendship, leading Pavarotti to later say that his philanthropic work stemmed from her example. 

As with any inconvenience in life, most of us try to avoid the storms. Whether literal rain or figurative, we tend to try to protect ourselves from things that would hurt or disrupt our lives in some way. But the truth is, in order to become fully alive to all that life brings us, we can't be afraid of getting wet. We need to be willing to stand in the rain sometimes and find the beauty in our storms. We have to not let the inconveniences take away from our joy and our meaning, finding ways instead to have some fun in the midst. Part of becoming more compassionate is being willing to think of the needs of others. Diana knew they wanted to see the concert just as much as she did and she wasn't about to let her own discomfort get in the way of them having a good time. We must be happy to do the same. 

Lead from the heart, not the head - Princess Diana actually said herself that she did things differently because, unlike the rest of the royal family, she didn't go by a rule book, choosing to lead with her heart and not her head. Diana followed her intuition and didn't let traditions and rules get in the way of doing what she felt was right. If the welfare of someone depended on her willingness to knock around a few royal expectations, she was willing to do it. Whereas some around her overthought their humanitarianism and would only go so far to interact with people, Diana wanted to go all the way and, following her very public separation from the royal firm, the world saw just how far she would go to access the suffering and to bring about change for a better world. Even Jesus Himself sometimes did things that, according to the traditions of His time, seemed unreasonable and uncomfortable. We need to get out of our own heads sometimes and realize that compassion doesn't always have to make sense - it just has to be right. There will be moments when God's call to action takes you places that others think are "too much." In those moments, we need to pay attention to the Divine leading and to where our intuition is taking us and lead from there, even if it's unpopular or unreasonable. 

During her life, Princess Diana didn't necessarily receive from the royal system the respect and the support she really deserved. I think most people would agree with this. Yet she still chose to give the dignity, compassion, and love to others that she lost out on in her own life. That's profound! She wanted to create a world where truth trumps falsehood, where care trumps selfishness, where hate is driven out by charity and she did her best to bring that to fruition. As she hugged the world with her generous heart, so the world loved her back the best it could. And that connection with her life continues to this day, even in her absence. 

While most of us may never possess the level of worldwide attention and influence that the People's Princess did, we all have it within us to live with the same passionate desire to share in the sufferings of others and look to relieve their pain by some act of kindness and purpose on our part. We need to be wiling to follow both her and Jesus' example in venturing to those places and with those people whom others ignore or deem invaluable. We can never underestimate the power of our touch and our human example to facilitate change for good in this world, even just within our own community and circle of people. Diana's vulnerability and openness set a new standard for compassion, and we would do well to follow in her footsteps, seeking to make this planet a better place, if even in the smallest way. 

* If you get the chance to go view the "Princess Diana: Accredited Access" exhibition, I highly recommend you do so. The feeling one gets after having spent some time learning about her life is something everyone should experience. You won't regret it!